Ahh, coming home..

Well, I am finally at the end of this trip..and at the end of a long process in learning. Today, I will finally hand in all my observations,have my supervisor sign them, the director approve them..and say my goodbyes to these amazing teachers that have so graciously let me apart of each of their private sessions. I will have a hard time knowing that it will be a long time coming back..thank you family and community for holding me as I went on this journey. Also a huge gratitude of love for Janet Bowen, who finished last month and who together we made this commitment..I doubt I could have stayed the course without the joint sharing and witnessing of this deep work. When I decided to follow this path, Kaustaub said we needed a "buddy" ..how right he was..in fact it takes a village!!!
I had a rough last week, so much overload of brain information and constant focusing of my energy. I live in a boarding house that is next door to the fancy fruit market(previous blog). All night long, I am awaken by the crashing of fruit crates against my outside wall..no space between buildings..some of the workers sleep on the metal roofs below my window and the other night,I just realized they were throwing coconuts at the wall to open them!! Crashing coconuts can be quite alarming at 4:00am!!! Needless to say, my sleep is disturbed!! With that, the power has gone off for two nights in a row, and to be in this heat,without air..is #%#^#%!,, the mosquitos are fierce and without warning of any sound, they attack!! Get the picture..add some stomach problems,pollution,and missing family and as one can only imagine, I am cooked. So today, I am saying goodby with mixed emotions and looking forward to the sweet life home. I had to practice sutra 2-33, "vitarka badhane pratipaksa bhavanam". I would constantly observe from a understanding that India has its beauty and charm when I stopped needing it to what is my familiar..and witness the life through their eyes..knowing that for many they never have air-conditioning, they sleep in a metal house the size of my bathroom with perhaps three children..I would stop complaining and feel instead the compassion that we only see life from our learned memories..our habits, our senses..so I would just go into this place of acceptance and surrender into the moment and somehow feel peaceful. I will remember those gifted times to practice my yoga..it was my own personal" sweat lodge or walking on coals"!! Except, I will come home without burns.. I know it is just a switch of attitude..
My other greatest moments were being taken by to the various Temples. Ami left earlier this week, but prior to her departure,we had the opportunity to visit and be blessed at the Temple of SaiBaba


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I was also graced to go back to the Temple of Sri Ramakrishna and Sri Sarada Devi, and share it with my dear friend and fellow teacher at the KYM, Gayatri. She gave me a copy of "The Bhagavad Gita" as a going away present..I felt receiving this special gift and sharing the day with her was a day that will always be held as sacred..she is the most loving being and I will miss her smile.











The stairway up..to continue moving forward and to know that as I return, the process of assimilation and digestion will take its slow pace...and I know the residue of lingering memory will remain..I will have owned the experience and I hope to teach from this place in my heart..to convey only the love of these beautiful ancient teachings that are shared universally from the heart!! To honor the great souls that have walked before and see through their eyes the possibility for freedom from the mind's suffering..ahh..but to come home is so sweet. I am ready!!

Location:Transitional

It's a dog's life

Enjoying the variety of life on the streets of Chennai..I am amazed at the variety of dogs..I have gotten use to seeing so many sad and homeless strays..but then my surprise when I saw that even here in India, dogs can have a better life than some children..life just isn't fair!! But when it comes to our pets..they are family!! And we love them ..because they love us so well. And that's what living is all about..just loving and being loved in return. They have a magical way of opening our hearts and healing those deep places that we didn't even know we're closed...


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Yes, all over the world..some of us have easier lives..but does
that make any of us less lovable..I know my dogs have it really good!! As I do..so grateful for all the blessings life has given me and the opportunity to be a witness to it all..and my dogs have it sooooo good!


Miss you Cleo and CeCe!!

Waking up in India this morning, I am so humbled when I actually take in the wonder of this journey. How did I get here?? When I started this immense commitment, I had no idea how I was ever going to do it. Colby at the time was in kindergarten, and now she is going into 6th grade...time is marked by watching your child grow up..I have grown as well. I started this journey with a spark of desire to grow deeper as a student and to learn more. I was afraid of becoming dull in my teachings and in my love of yoga. So when this was presented to me, and I heard that there was going to a training in this lineage in yoga therapy I felt in my deepest soul place..that this was my path. I never realized that it would take me six years..and yet, when I look at my life..every wonderful effort has taken its profound course of time..and at this moment in time and space, I am just where I am supposed to be. I never started yoga with ever wanting to be a teacher; I was drawn into the path because of healing my own heart. I found a way into my life..and trusted that there was more beauty in the inner world of my soul than in the outer pain of the mind..my ego fell into and surrendered it's hungry needs to be seen..life has taken me into my true heart and I continue living in love and wanting to inspire others to follow their own path. To be able to share this journey has been wonderful..thus, the title to the blog. But the actual path is the journey inward.. The place we all want to go and yet struggle to make the time when our busy lives tell us otherwise..
By turning the attention inward, we can travel to the place of hope. In a world struggling everyday in immense confusion and the suffering of humanity being presented constantly,we forget that we have these tools to find our own way to clarity and balance. The pain of the human condition challenges one's Faith. And yet, I still have the deepest Knowing that the light is shining; we just have to go inward to see it..feel it,connect to it and then live it..yoga has given me the direction I needed and by understanding how to use these ancient tools and refining them, I now feel confident in moving forward on the path. As I return to the Midwest, I hope to be able to deepen this awaken spark and to inspire this possibility in others..that is all I can do..it is up to the student to keep the flame lit and steady..in a world that has the flame too high, we are burning up with inner heat that is causing so much anxiety with the over active guna of "ragis". Or into the quality of "tamas", where the guna expresses itself as inaction, the dulling of the flame appearing as depression. A mind where the hope is no longer visible. As a teacher, healer, mother,friend,wife..
whatever the outer role..my inner svadharma is to keep the flames steady and the minds peaceful; to inspire others to use the tools to sustain clarity,to live from the balance of a more sattvic guna. From this perceptive one can taste the sensation of of hope. This is the key to finding joy in life..hope is the key..turning it daily, brings us into our inner joy.
From the teachings of the Taittriya Upanisad, it is said that no creature can live without joy..and ever moment is an active-seeking of this greater joy. If this motive force is removed from life, the entire existence tumbles down..the movement of life is continued and kept up by the dynamism of this quest towards joy.. The problem is in the mind when all the the senses are directed outside the Self..when the mind links only in the outer attachments and desires of the senses,.then pain arises in the disappointment of the mind always wanting more... However, when JOY arises from the inner light..this is the spark that allows all action to move in a direction without the attachment to the consequences. In the teachings of the Gita, all actions must be without the desire of the fruit of those actions..I must let go of the outcome. Hence, this journey..I am on the path and living what is my Truth..and loving today what is my dharma..and committing to sharing these tools and offering hope to anyone that presents a need. Not easy in a world so distracted, so caught up in the outcome. The emptiness felt in our Global world is hungry for connection; a connection to the deeper place of fulfillment. My hope is we start seeing the true place in each of us..to be happy and free of this little mind. The world is not fair, there is so much anger, greed, fear. There is suffering and pain..and yet, there is the knowing that we are worthy of more compassion and forgiveness..everyone wants the same for their life..to feel this peace and taste joy in the heart..as my dear mentor, Joseph Campbell has inspired in me, "life is the joyful participation
in the sorrows of the world".. Please smile more, laugh deeply and love passionately..and of course dance with abandon. Be foolish for love because life is so sweet and way too short..enJOY!! Be in JOY.
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Journey to The homeland of Ayurvedic healing

A wonderful weekend spent on an adventure to Konchi and staying at the healing center..Saaram. Amy and I flew with Petra,(our fellow internist from Belgium). Petra knew of this wonderful place since the owner is from France and her students had gone. She was joining her husband and three year old son who were staying there while she is working at the KYM. The Europeans are fearless in traveling with children!! I could not miss the opportunity to travel to Kerala and experience the authentic wisdom of these ancient healing tools..yes, yoga and ayurveda are over 7 thousand years old and yet the profound properties of healing the entire system of the mind and body are more relevant today than ever. How to balance life and stay healthy takes more than Western medicine can provide..the nourishing aspects of these tools for vital life are essential in today's hectic and over stimulating world..but then all yoga students know this!
So I went to Un-Plug!! And what a grand detox we had..I never left the room!! With a complete program of just being STILL..I am back and feeling so blessed to have given myself this special time to be nourished with what can only be called..God's Grace of Life..
The treatments were amazing and for this whirling energy ball it was a time to just soak in the richness of these special oils and be balanced in my doshas..this vata personality is really a deeper pita light and to feel the joy of my true nature was bliss. Yes, if the truth be known..I really love Solitude!!!
We all flew back to Chennai last night and this morning I awoke knowing that I will one day share this magical healing home with my students..I left a new family that I so want others to experience.. So setting that intention..I will just let it unfold and enjoy this moment..ahh..life is good. Please just take this moment and exhale and feel how sweet the pause can be..the mind is only outside the body..bring it inside and fill the vessel with this Light I now send to everyone..loving is the scent of the inhale, exhale is the sharing of that love.


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A sweet reminder to just sit on the porch and swing..no matter how far we go away..home is coming to that place in my heart where I feel the Divine connection..we are all ONE.

Location:Kerala,India

Life's constant change

Life is so changing in India as we bring to the East a "Global Market". Yes, we now have the Indian equivalent to a Costco, I so feel the compassion for the small business owner of what has been a life of service and dedication to a way of life..that is being pushed aside..hard for the fruit carts to compete in this new world market..



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The extremes of life are moving in all directions..life is constant change and the acceptance is the willingness to change as well..to release all my bias opinions and allow for life to reveal itself. I just love being able to witness it from my own eyes and feel it through my own soul..the actually tasting and touching the vibration of this land has no words..language is limited in expressing the spirit of this place in time. There are adjectives and nouns but the mind wraps around the memory of something past and the quality of the moment is lost..to just live in these extreme contrast is the sweetness of life's constant uncertainty of all outcome..it just is..
If I don't Hear it with my own ears, or See it with my own eyes, i must not Invent it with my small mind, and Share it with my big mouth!!! I must just live it!!

Wonderful and unexpected gifts..

Another full day..I am half way around the world, and today I was waiting at the KYM when a mother
came in with her three children ..I saw these sweet girls that were a little younger than Colby. I instantly was taken back home and felt this deep pang of emotions..memory to the senses..seeing this mother brings the desire to the moment as i felt this longing to be home. I was brought into the consultation where I realized the little girl of nine was coming in to get a practice..her mother had heard about the KYM from her family living here..yes, her family lives in Chennai , but I quickly found out the family now lives in Naperville!! They are here visiting and returning to the States next week. Did I sense a bond instinctively and know at some level they were linked to me?? The mother had never known about Yoga Among Friends, but was thrilled to know we are so close..yes, the world is very small and the beauty of yoga is that it connects us everywhere. The essence of mother is everywhere in "MA INDIA..and the respect of the mother is so apparent in all the relations. But the stresses are the same as well!!
Tonight , I then went to an IT corporation in the city and experienced what a group class look like in India..now I know what it looks like when you call IT service and you end up talking to India,,I was there trying to help the tired and overworked employees. Now i can first hand see where all our outsource jobs are being sent..They so need the yoga and how fun to see it coming back into the Indian culture..it took the West to bring it back home to the East. And to create their pace of life.





Life of extremes is India..random chaos mingles with the firm foundation of a Spiritual heritage that has taken me to a humble place of acceptance ..life is always one big surprise if we just get out of our own mind and live in the moment..
The other great moment happened yesterday when I went to the most incredible book store. Never I have I seen, nor been surrounded by so many brilliant minds..I love books!! I just have to figure out how to get them home..but I realized they didn't take credit cards, wow, another business that does not use credit!! Anyway, I didn't have enough cash, and yet, they told me to take all the books and come back in a few days with the money. Never could I have done that in the States! I wonder when I world lost trust?? I so appreciate that there was such an honoring for me to be trustworthy!! I was given the gift of receiving someone's trust and it felt beautiful..I want to keep extending that same gift to others..what a small and sweet world it can be when we let live in..







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