Waking up in India this morning, I am so humbled when I actually take in the wonder of this journey. How did I get here?? When I started this immense commitment, I had no idea how I was ever going to do it. Colby at the time was in kindergarten, and now she is going into 6th grade...time is marked by watching your child grow up..I have grown as well. I started this journey with a spark of desire to grow deeper as a student and to learn more. I was afraid of becoming dull in my teachings and in my love of yoga. So when this was presented to me, and I heard that there was going to a training in this lineage in yoga therapy I felt in my deepest soul place..that this was my path. I never realized that it would take me six years..and yet, when I look at my life..every wonderful effort has taken its profound course of time..and at this moment in time and space, I am just where I am supposed to be. I never started yoga with ever wanting to be a teacher; I was drawn into the path because of healing my own heart. I found a way into my life..and trusted that there was more beauty in the inner world of my soul than in the outer pain of the mind..my ego fell into and surrendered it's hungry needs to be seen..life has taken me into my true heart and I continue living in love and wanting to inspire others to follow their own path. To be able to share this journey has been wonderful..thus, the title to the blog. But the actual path is the journey inward.. The place we all want to go and yet struggle to make the time when our busy lives tell us otherwise..
By turning the attention inward, we can travel to the place of hope. In a world struggling everyday in immense confusion and the suffering of humanity being presented constantly,we forget that we have these tools to find our own way to clarity and balance. The pain of the human condition challenges one's Faith. And yet, I still have the deepest Knowing that the light is shining; we just have to go inward to see it..feel it,connect to it and then live it..yoga has given me the direction I needed and by understanding how to use these ancient tools and refining them, I now feel confident in moving forward on the path. As I return to the Midwest, I hope to be able to deepen this awaken spark and to inspire this possibility in others..that is all I can do..it is up to the student to keep the flame lit and steady..in a world that has the flame too high, we are burning up with inner heat that is causing so much anxiety with the over active guna of "ragis". Or into the quality of "tamas", where the guna expresses itself as inaction, the dulling of the flame appearing as depression. A mind where the hope is no longer visible. As a teacher, healer, mother,friend,wife..
whatever the outer role..my inner svadharma is to keep the flames steady and the minds peaceful; to inspire others to use the tools to sustain clarity,to live from the balance of a more sattvic guna. From this perceptive one can taste the sensation of of hope. This is the key to finding joy in life..hope is the key..turning it daily, brings us into our inner joy.
From the teachings of the Taittriya Upanisad, it is said that no creature can live without joy..and ever moment is an active-seeking of this greater joy. If this motive force is removed from life, the entire existence tumbles down..the movement of life is continued and kept up by the dynamism of this quest towards joy.. The problem is in the mind when all the the senses are directed outside the Self..when the mind links only in the outer attachments and desires of the senses,.then pain arises in the disappointment of the mind always wanting more... However, when JOY arises from the inner light..this is the spark that allows all action to move in a direction without the attachment to the consequences. In the teachings of the Gita, all actions must be without the desire of the fruit of those actions..I must let go of the outcome. Hence, this journey..I am on the path and living what is my Truth..and loving today what is my dharma..and committing to sharing these tools and offering hope to anyone that presents a need. Not easy in a world so distracted, so caught up in the outcome. The emptiness felt in our Global world is hungry for connection; a connection to the deeper place of fulfillment. My hope is we start seeing the true place in each of us..to be happy and free of this little mind. The world is not fair, there is so much anger, greed, fear. There is suffering and pain..and yet, there is the knowing that we are worthy of more compassion and forgiveness..everyone wants the same for their life..to feel this peace and taste joy in the heart..as my dear mentor, Joseph Campbell has inspired in me, "life is the joyful participation
in the sorrows of the world".. Please smile more, laugh deeply and love passionately..and of course dance with abandon. Be foolish for love because life is so sweet and way too short..enJOY!! Be in JOY.
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Journey to The homeland of Ayurvedic healing

A wonderful weekend spent on an adventure to Konchi and staying at the healing center..Saaram. Amy and I flew with Petra,(our fellow internist from Belgium). Petra knew of this wonderful place since the owner is from France and her students had gone. She was joining her husband and three year old son who were staying there while she is working at the KYM. The Europeans are fearless in traveling with children!! I could not miss the opportunity to travel to Kerala and experience the authentic wisdom of these ancient healing tools..yes, yoga and ayurveda are over 7 thousand years old and yet the profound properties of healing the entire system of the mind and body are more relevant today than ever. How to balance life and stay healthy takes more than Western medicine can provide..the nourishing aspects of these tools for vital life are essential in today's hectic and over stimulating world..but then all yoga students know this!
So I went to Un-Plug!! And what a grand detox we had..I never left the room!! With a complete program of just being STILL..I am back and feeling so blessed to have given myself this special time to be nourished with what can only be called..God's Grace of Life..
The treatments were amazing and for this whirling energy ball it was a time to just soak in the richness of these special oils and be balanced in my doshas..this vata personality is really a deeper pita light and to feel the joy of my true nature was bliss. Yes, if the truth be known..I really love Solitude!!!
We all flew back to Chennai last night and this morning I awoke knowing that I will one day share this magical healing home with my students..I left a new family that I so want others to experience.. So setting that intention..I will just let it unfold and enjoy this moment..ahh..life is good. Please just take this moment and exhale and feel how sweet the pause can be..the mind is only outside the body..bring it inside and fill the vessel with this Light I now send to everyone..loving is the scent of the inhale, exhale is the sharing of that love.


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A sweet reminder to just sit on the porch and swing..no matter how far we go away..home is coming to that place in my heart where I feel the Divine connection..we are all ONE.

Location:Kerala,India

Life's constant change

Life is so changing in India as we bring to the East a "Global Market". Yes, we now have the Indian equivalent to a Costco, I so feel the compassion for the small business owner of what has been a life of service and dedication to a way of life..that is being pushed aside..hard for the fruit carts to compete in this new world market..



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The extremes of life are moving in all directions..life is constant change and the acceptance is the willingness to change as well..to release all my bias opinions and allow for life to reveal itself. I just love being able to witness it from my own eyes and feel it through my own soul..the actually tasting and touching the vibration of this land has no words..language is limited in expressing the spirit of this place in time. There are adjectives and nouns but the mind wraps around the memory of something past and the quality of the moment is lost..to just live in these extreme contrast is the sweetness of life's constant uncertainty of all outcome..it just is..
If I don't Hear it with my own ears, or See it with my own eyes, i must not Invent it with my small mind, and Share it with my big mouth!!! I must just live it!!

Wonderful and unexpected gifts..

Another full day..I am half way around the world, and today I was waiting at the KYM when a mother
came in with her three children ..I saw these sweet girls that were a little younger than Colby. I instantly was taken back home and felt this deep pang of emotions..memory to the senses..seeing this mother brings the desire to the moment as i felt this longing to be home. I was brought into the consultation where I realized the little girl of nine was coming in to get a practice..her mother had heard about the KYM from her family living here..yes, her family lives in Chennai , but I quickly found out the family now lives in Naperville!! They are here visiting and returning to the States next week. Did I sense a bond instinctively and know at some level they were linked to me?? The mother had never known about Yoga Among Friends, but was thrilled to know we are so close..yes, the world is very small and the beauty of yoga is that it connects us everywhere. The essence of mother is everywhere in "MA INDIA..and the respect of the mother is so apparent in all the relations. But the stresses are the same as well!!
Tonight , I then went to an IT corporation in the city and experienced what a group class look like in India..now I know what it looks like when you call IT service and you end up talking to India,,I was there trying to help the tired and overworked employees. Now i can first hand see where all our outsource jobs are being sent..They so need the yoga and how fun to see it coming back into the Indian culture..it took the West to bring it back home to the East. And to create their pace of life.





Life of extremes is India..random chaos mingles with the firm foundation of a Spiritual heritage that has taken me to a humble place of acceptance ..life is always one big surprise if we just get out of our own mind and live in the moment..
The other great moment happened yesterday when I went to the most incredible book store. Never I have I seen, nor been surrounded by so many brilliant minds..I love books!! I just have to figure out how to get them home..but I realized they didn't take credit cards, wow, another business that does not use credit!! Anyway, I didn't have enough cash, and yet, they told me to take all the books and come back in a few days with the money. Never could I have done that in the States! I wonder when I world lost trust?? I so appreciate that there was such an honoring for me to be trustworthy!! I was given the gift of receiving someone's trust and it felt beautiful..I want to keep extending that same gift to others..what a small and sweet world it can be when we let live in..







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Amazing days on my spiritual path

I have been having the most amazing days going around this city. Last Sunday, Ami Wheeler and myself had our day off from the KYM. Ami is a wonderful teacher and friend who is also finishing up her last internship..we made an intention over two years ago to come to India together and finish..we have been sharing our little guest house and the company is priceless.
We hired a driver, Anbu, to take us all around Chennai. The home of many Spiritual teachers and profound diversity in religious beliefs...however, the common thread of all spiritual paths is the understanding that we all are seeking the same Divine Light..that the paths lead us to our own Peace arising out of the awakening of the Inner connection to our own True Nature. This Self calls us home.
We went first to the tomb of St. Thomas, one of 12 Apostles of Jesus. The Basilica, one of only three in the world that is built over the tomb. Built in the 16th century originally by the Portuguese explorers and then rebuilt by the British in 1893..
I was not expecting the emotional response I would have upon entering the tomb..but I was brought to tears and awe struck at the devotional commitment of the fellow worshippers. I was humble to imagine St. Thomas by Jesus side in Israel. He went outside the Roman Empire to teach the Gospel...maybe I loved and admired his fearless devotion and how he first traveled from Israel to Kerala on the Western Coast of India..at the time in history going back to 52AD!! Imagine life then traveling..and I complain of not having water all day yesterday in my apt..Our level of tolerance for any discomfort is almost non-existent. The heat is fierce here,and power goes out daily and without any warning..life is acceptance..and the ability to just go through these discomforts with Grace..I am in deep admiration for the legacy of this special soul..


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From there we when onto the the Vivekanda House..in honor of this important World leader and Spiritual teacher. I have known about Vivekanda for many years..all people living in Chicago should know since he was the very first Swami to ever travel to the States and he spoke in Chicago in 1893 at our World's Fair when we hosted the first Parliament of World Religions. I love numbers and dates and always keep a journal of important dates..no accidents in the Universe..he spoke about tolerance for all religions and that humanity must embrace diversity and put and end to fanatical ideology and violence that arises from righteous thinking in the mind of biases..in the most amazing speech, he shared the love of all religions to work in harmony..the date of this speech ..SEPT. 11th 1893,, exactly, 108, years later..we have Sept.11th,2001.. 108 is the mystical number of a complete cycle. How timely to have the message again..






I will continue the tour later..it is time for my own practice...

Location:India

The beauty of Sraddha..

I have had such amazing days soaking in the immersion of all these teachings. I have been so honored to have had this opportunity to learn from such gifted and dedicated teachers. I was given a one-on-one private session on the Sutras last week, with the most beautiful and passionate soul. I did not get to know her last summer, so my experience took me to a new place of respect for the vast knowledge and passion these teachers hold. I came to learn and I want to soak in every bit of understanding they can impart for me and I want to be able to then share it in how I live my life..yoga for me is a way of life. If I can digest,assimilate and then allow these teaching to be observed in my life, then I am living my Dharma.
This sweet "elf" of a teacher..glowed when she spoke and had a twinkle that radiated though me..I think I feel in love with a spirit that so reminded me of my mother..not at all physically but her joy was so full and contagious..I just wanted to giggle with her..the devotion she had was electric!! I am still smiling.
It is not often we come into this kind of love, but as she spoke I felt every bit of her soul engaging in her attention to me..and all she wanted to do was nourish me with the teachings that poured out. Her chanting of the sutras was felt at the deepest layer of Knowing.
She said that if I wanted to share the Sutras, I had to express them through my own experiences and share not the intellect,but the feeling behind the words..sutra 1.20
" Sraddha virya smrti samadhi prajna purvaka itaresam."
One could speak endless on this one sound..sraddha..conviction..which means something to the intellect ,yet the way she shared the essence of it actually made me FEEL it.. "Sraddha is the mother that protects you, whoever has this "sraddha" will be protected like a mother protecting her child". ...that strength, that love..that conviction a mother has to protect her child will be what protects the one that holds the essence of this Faith in their heart..not learned, but earned through the effort of the practice and the commitment to it..the attachment to the outcome is not the goal..the conviction in the heart is the Source or the fullness of this feeling..what a force of fearlessness when one carries the sword of sraddha..only the fullness of that love. The link is made to this Light ..one can have a little sraddha..but the more one has..the closer we are to that Divine Grace. I felt so connected to her and knew the depth of this feeling. I am safe..this comfort has no language. I am just grateful to be moving in this direction..
To trust takes courage, but that courage arises from the sraddha ...practice will move the mind out of the way..and open the heart to this quality of Knowing..this inner conviction to live your Truth..the means to this is yoga..to know yourself is freedom..the goal of yoga..OM shanti...Please just keep practicing and have great joy knowing you are all on the path..the journey is the fun part if we just live it!!
I am going to be sharing more pictures soon...

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Location:KYM

Full days at the KYM

Last few weeks, I was taking my daughter to her soccer and basketball games, making sure we had the dogs walked and fed, and the daily commitments of being a mother,wife,yoga teacher,daughter,friend,sister,all the labels I somehow find myself identifying with as my life unfolds daily..somehow, all those disappear as I walk the streets of Chennai..I am a foreigner, the one that stands out in the chaos of these hectic streets. The smiling and curious faces just let me blend in as I mingle with the crowds. I never feel alone..somehow, the spirit of this land meets me at my soul..and the invisible parts of me come alive. I question always, "who am I"? I am more than my job, my roles,my many personas. Everyone will see me through their own perception ..today, one of my elderly students,who was every bit of 70, was trying to converse in his broken English.(.the language here is Tamal..) he had come with his many aches and pains and very eager to learn a yoga practice..I was having a grand time with him when he stopped and looked at me, and in a curious way asked,"how old are you?75?. Yes, that's right,he thought I was 75!! I politely said no, I am only 57" to which he replied,"oh, you are so many lines",, my ego raised her diva pride and immediately I began making plans for botox treatments upon my return to the States..wow, nothing like a tired Indian man to think you are older than him!! I had to step back and just laugh at the full picture..everyone is going to see what they see..but come on,75?.. When did I get old?? I always see myself as 32? Oh ,o.k.45..but to stop and actually experience the possibility that I am getting older each day..that life is so impermanent..Yes,I am aging, and life is going to present new ways for me to be seen in the world..I ask that I stay willing to grow deeper and allow for the changes in my physical presence to move with grace and acceptance into wisdom. To be the wise elder and to appreciate the stories I have lived that have made the inside of me so rich. To nourish the beauty within is my work..and so I must remind myself not to be attached..even though I wanted to run to the spa!! Today,I want to appreciate the beauty in this land, see it through eyes that are clear..and remember, I am more than my labels, my identity, my outer accomplishments, my roles ,my imperfect skin...I am..Sat nam..just the light behind the face of all those many new wrinkles. This was not easy to feel, but so important to accept..life is always changing and so am I.
So at the end of life what really matters in not what we bought but what we built; not what we got but what we shared; not our competence but our character; and not our success,but our significance. Just live a life that matters. Live a life of love..( and every now and again..enjoy a good hair day!!)


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