Saturday, June 30, 2012

Thank you United Airlines

Somewhere on an unexpected detour and enjoying the day in Germany!! I had a wonderful day walking the streets of Frankfort..one has to partake in the fine dining..the best sauerkraut and frank..and of course the beer. Yes, this is not India!! But a sweet rest and enjoyable day to reflect on all the blessings of my year.
This has been a rich year, a year full of growth..I will always treasure the beauty of meeting so many new friends this year; and hold the memory of being with my sweet mother on her passing. The various contrasts of emotions around the fullness of living each special day. Life is just one beautiful ride..and thanks to United Airlines, I get a mini rest to take it all in.
Tomorrow, I finally have a seat on the flight to Chennai..now let's hope the luggage makes it as well !!!
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Location:This is not India!!

Friday, June 29, 2012

Returning to random chaos

Just decided that the only way to travel to India is to go with the flow..yes,letting go of outcome is already the only way to fly!! I was an hour and half late leaving O 'Hare airport yesterday evening, and arrived in Frankfort, Germany only to find my connection to Chennai had departed..without me!! I soon found out that there were no other direct flights open today and tomorrow I could get on the afternoon flight to Mumbai, arriving at midnight with a 7 hour layover before the 7:00 am departure to Chennai!!! No way am I choosing that possible nightmare..so I surrendered to stay two days in this hub and fly direct on Sun.morning..so now the journey of practicing "Isvara Pranidhanai " begins..letting go of the outcome, but choosing the path that has the potential for less obstacles and prevent that which might cause future suffering. My favorite sutra, heyam duhkhamanagatam,(2-16).
Yes, nothing could be more upsetting right now than be stuck in Mumbai in the middle of the night with no sleep and in the chaos of that airport!! I will take United up on their voucher offer and stay in my air conditioned hotel,eat some good German food, and explore a city that awaits my curiosity. As I know, it could be worst..so I am grateful for life's unexpected detours and I will go with FLOW..
So after waiting in the long lines filled with tired,frustrated and irate travelers trying to secure new flights, I finally settled into my new digs by the airport..ahh, a comfortable bed and to just be horizontal!!


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Location:Delayed in Frankfort!

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Sharing some personal moments

I have struggled for weeks since returning home asking myself if or should I share some of the insights and revelations of my trip. I always say.." do what is presented "..after listening deeply I heard.. Funny how then, I am given the answer when someone comes up to me..and asks, " are you going to talk about your trip? I would love to hear about it". I often hold Yoga Among Friends as a group endeavor..my job is to clear the space for others to do workshops and events..when bringing attention to me..in a strange way, I feel too visible, too much about my small self and awkward in making it about me. Is this truly for the good of something bigger? I never want to make the center," the Laura Mellencamp method,". I always ask to be the messenger,not the object of the attention. Very difficult in a world attached so much to form and ego, and hard to do when you have a large personality. I question why I stay in this role of yoga teacher, since the world has way too many great teachers and everyone has a voice..is this where I am supposed to me?
So after, getting out of my face, I felt the pulse of letting the story take it's own direction,and it has become a way to let you into my heart even more. I went to my dear friend and brilliant artist helping me to create a vehicle in which to begin sharing the qualities of the experiences. I wanted a way to present an understanding, that my story is only about what was awaken in my senses..not externally but internally..the brilliance of being absorbed in sensation and consciousness as it awaken deeper in me..this is only sharing my experiences, but hopefully to inspire your deeper commitment to live in the subtle beauty of life. Brilliance arises from the willingness to experience the internal senses and then live with them as expressions of your authentic Self. I am free falling into love.
So if you have some empty space and time in your busy day...perhaps you can share with me..I will be at Yoga Among Friends on Sunday afternoon and look forward to seeing what magic awaits..perhaps we can laugh together..and do what I love to do best, HOST a happening!!




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Sunday, September 11, 2011

Back home and holding the space of Love..

It has been weeks since I returned from India..and still processing the experience. I have wanted to sit down and share my heart and soul and yet, I needed to be still, to digest, assimilate, absorb, and allow the wisdom to be imprinted in my soul. I still struggle for words to explain how my heart expanded and my passion was restored. I am more in love with life...and yet,my mind cannot grasp that mental phrase.
I struggle daily to let go of my agitation over the world' gripping mind..and it's collected fear of future possibility. Life is constant uncertainty. The certainty is in the daily commitment to be present to it's beauty. When my eyes see that beauty..I can share in the excitement and joy of the living. Now, I can see clearly, and it only took a shift of perspective. That is what yoga practice offers when we are the witness to our thoughts..do I feed my fear mind or the soul's ability to perceive the abundance of light? This is a choice I am able to make in the moment of clarity..this is freedom..I can choose to feel peace today, I can choose to feel love today, and only I can choose to let go and be here NOW.
I am writing this on the morning of 9/11..ten years ago,I was in the moment of preparation to go to Vietnam to bring Colby home..many of you know and held me during that long process to be a mom..my true svadharma..in an instant those plans got shifted..I was holding grief for friends and love ones that I knew were at ground zero,( my brother-in-law, worked there), at the same moment wondering how am I to get to Hanoi and honor the vow I made to my infant daughter..I prayed for the highest good for all..and let go of how..but knew at the deepest layer of my being..I was going to make the effort. With angels on my shoulder,and faith guiding the journey..we left on the first flights that were opened. A miracle of destiny, we got seats..and after four days of travel, we arrived. That was a labor..of love....
Now, ten years later, I am witnessing my sweet mother in her greatest work of letting go..she is in the divine dance between the spaces of light..her body is growing smaller yet, her soul gets bigger..soon, I will no longer be able to hug her,kiss her or smell the delicious scent of "mommy". Ten years ago, I became someone's mother, and now I am loosing being someone's daughter; book-ends marking transitions in time and space. Endings are beginnings,beginnings are endings..and they happen every moment. I just want to be awake enough to experience the beauty of such Grace..only a given identity of form, a label of the mind. Everything is impermanent. Change is the only constant, and we have to embrace this Truth. If we fight it, we only prevent the miracles to be revealed..I so trust in this journey..and in love with the possibilities that are just waiting to be invoked.
So today, I say prayers for all the souls that are struggling and still gripping at the concept of defending,winning,and killing..the thoughts that keep feeding the suffering of our world..and with forgiveness..I embrace the beauty and wonder and Awe that surrounds us ..I choose to focus on the Gratitude of this sacred day to remember that all life has a purpose...and all death is just the grace of transformation..stay open,stay in love today..





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Thursday, July 7, 2011

Coming home

This is my last entry on the blog..the journey now is coming back home and being able to process all the amazing gifts I have received. India is random chaos. There are extreme obstacles and challenges in living day to day and yet, at the same time, there is a grace in the acceptance that things just don't always go according to the "plan". To be able to go with the flow,as they say. Each day, one never know when the power would suddenly be shut off; no air- conditioning,no lights, no inter-net, every bit of energy would simple be un-plugged! I am still amazed at the wonderful acceptance that this is just the norm.. No one seemed to be bothered..it was just how things are..knowing that in it's own time, the power would come back..but no one ever seemed to know when!!
To embrace the acceptance of what is being presented in the moment is the key to living in India..this allows for grace to move through. The frustration of the mind comes when expectation is the norm..we in the West have very little tolerance, patience, or forgiveness for anything that causes an inconvenience of our time..We become inflexible and filled with an inner tension when life doesn't go according to our small agendas..I came to India and never planned to fall in love,but this sweet chaotic place has humbled me. I just know the more I can accept that I just live in right action, and surrender the attachment to the outcome..it will all just work out..there is always power; we just need to relax. So in this land of extremes, I have found some inner balance. I hope that I can hold on to these precious reminders. When life offers moments of random chaos, confusion and fear.. I can trust, the Power will be turned back on..
I am forever grateful for the gifts that have been given from this amazing journey..I know it is only just BEGUN..


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Monday, July 4, 2011

Thinking of home

My first July 4th not being in the States..and how I am missing ritual..backyard family cookouts, hotdogs and hamburgers and corn on the Cobb, the local parade and seeing the neighborhood gathered in lawn chairs scattered and lining the Main St., the children chasing candy, the sounds of the firetrucks honking and the sweet sounds of the kids celebrating a day that honors a country proud of his heritage. I will miss most of all the various gatherings to watch and share the fireworks..this celebration feeds the never-ending child in me who welcomes every summer the thrill of those vibrant colors as they explode in the night sky..the rush of sensation that fills my senses and still excites my soul. The simple pleasures of summer fun can be held as sweet reminders all through those dark winter days..I send all of you a blessing to remember why we celebrate this day..and may we join together to set the intention that our wonderful Country can let go of the rigid separation of Ideology and find a common place of understanding. We must be "United", if we are to continue to thrive and grow as a Nation based on the brilliant integrity of the Human spirit..to live in harmony and balance takes the willingness to find peace and harmony in our own life. My prayers are for our coming together as a the United States of America..to set that one simple word, "United",and reflect on what it means to hold Unity..is it possible when the mind lives in such fear??Can we raise our consciousness higher, to see beyond the fear of our bias opinions, and meet heart to heart..if everyday, we reflect on our abundance,and celebrate the inner spark of excitement for living..then, each of us are individually creating unity in our own hearts. May everyday offer the release of inner fireworks!! For even in the darkest of night..this is when we can see and witness the fireworks at their most magnificent.
Be peaceful, be well, be HAPPY


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Friday, July 1, 2011

Buddha under the banyon tree

Yesterday, I took a journey through time..walked into the original grounds of the Theosophical Society, and felt the presence of past souls who for over a hundred years have gathered here..I was truly coming home.
My first introduction to the Theosophical was in Ojai, Ca. Back in the early 80's. For many years, I would make the trip from L.A. to this beautiful oasis of orange groves, massive mountains and peaceful valleys to seek the wisdom of the teachings of J.Krishnamurti. At one time, he was the world teacher and head of the society . I had no idea at that time,that I would one day arrive in the Mid-West..you can only imagine my amazement to discover I was living a few miles from the head quarter's of the Theosophical in Wheaton. One night,( only a few weeks after arriving in the Western suburbs and knowing no one), I was driving all around and getting more lost and confused about what I had done by moving to this strange and flat land!! Suddenly, I noticed a small sign that said, "Head Quarter of the Theosophical Society". I remember being so surprised to find this oasis in what I assumed was only the land of Wheaton!! It was slowly getting darker,
and as I drove up that winding road, the full moon started to rise into the night. I will never forget the vibrant and bright light of the full moon illuminating my welcome as I drove onto the grounds. Somehow, at that moment, I knew I had made the correct decision in moving and changing my entire life. Today, I walked onto the grounds where it all began.. Chennai,India back in the late 1800's..the grounds have never changed..the structures and buildings are timeless. Nature is the only reminder of time..
I could feel the pulse of the earth,and was welcomed into a connection that has no words..I took this simply picture of Buddha under the tree, hopefully capturing the stillness of time..the banyon tree keeps the only pulse of movement for she keeps spreading her many roots...
In the center of the grounds is the largest Banyon tree in the world..it is 238ft.north to south and 250ft east to west..There was no way to capture it's true essence and energy..so while walking through the areas of this incredible space, I was being welcomed by this sweet Buddha and her tree..we became fast friends, and I knew I was being welcomed home..finally on the new moon..I had made a complete circle..something new is beginning!!!
There is no doubt I am right where I need to be..I am Here. Now...

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